Getting out of Norway - 28/29 July

THURSDAY 28 JULY

More last-minute souvenir-Christmas-present shopping. I still had a few people on my list to buy something for.

I went to one souvenir shop, and when I went to pay, found out I needed 315 kroner worth of goods to qualify for the Tax-Free Shopping. So I bought a pencil for 10kr and it was done! How good did I feel, having two tax-free bags... sure, it might not be much, but hey, any money back is good money in my book. Why should you pay so much tax in a country you're just visiting?

FRIDAY 29 JULY

I had to be out of the campsite by 12 at the latest, but I was all packed up and ready to leave at 11. I caught the bus into town. Walked to the bus station, and caught the bus out to Sandefjord... about 2 hours or so. Watched the scenery going by... southern Norway looks so nice in the summer time.

I arrived at the airport sometime around 2 in the afternoon, I think. My flight wasn't till 10-something... that's a while to wait. I read a book. I listened to live versions of U2 songs on my iPod (still on a high from the concert, I think). I wrote an original song, which may appear on my music blog soon. I also finished off a parody song, which will be appearing on my music blog as soon as I finish posting here.

As the evening came around, I decided to check in. This was about 3 hours before my flight time. I had with me the following:
Large backpack, approx 15 kg
Normal backpack, approx 7 kg
Tent & bedroll, approx 2 kg
Guitar, approx 2 kg
Bag of souvenirs x 2, approx 1.5 kg

I was allowed 15kg checkin and 10 kg carryon... I figured I'd be a little over, but if I was early enough and the flight was empty enough, they wouldn't care.

There follows a re-enactment, in semi-screenplay format. Can't get darn indents to work the way I want in html.

INT. AIRPORT. CHECK-IN COUNTER. EVENING.

GLENN puts his backpack and tent/roll onto the conveyor belt. He indicates his guitar.

GLENN: Do I need to check this in?

The CHECK-IN LADY looks at the LCD weight readout.

CHECK-IN LADY: You are allowed 15 kilograms to check in.

She points to the bag and tent.

CHECK-IN LADY: You are already 17 kilograms. You will have to pay for 2 kilograms over. Carry the guitar on with you.

Glenn looks at his guitar and bags of souvenirs, plus the backpack on his back.

GLENN: It's not too much?

CHECK-IN LADY: It should be OK.

GLENN: How much is the baggage?

CHECK-IN LADY: It will be 110 kroner.

GLENN: I have no kroner left... I just changed it all back into pounds.

CHECK-IN LADY: You can pay at the service desk.

She starts writing a receipt, but doesn't give it to Glenn. She scrunches it up and puts it in the bin.

CHECK-IN LADY: OK, you can go.

Glenn shrugs.

INT. AIRPORT. ARRIVALS HALL. EVENING.

GLENN walks across the airport, past the newsagent, past the service desk, past the souvenir shop, to the security-guarded doorway into the Departure Lounge.

INT. AIRPORT. SECURITY CHECKPOINT. EVENING.

GLENN walks up to the X-ray machine. He takes his backpack off and places it on the metal rollers. The SECURITY WOMAN looks at his guitar.

SECURITY WOMAN: You have to check it in.

GLENN: They said I should carry it on.

SECURITY WOMAN: You have too many bags. You are allowed one bag to carry on.

Glenn indicates his backpack and souvenir bags.

GLENN: Can I leave these here?

The security woman nods.

Glenn places his backpack and souvenir bags tucked in to the corner, round the side of the x-ray machine.

He walks off.

INT. AIRPORT. CHECK-IN COUNTER. EVENING.

The CHECK-IN LADY looks up and sees GLENN standing there.

GLENN: They said I have to check this in.

CHECK-IN LADY: Why? What is it, a guitar?

GLENN: Yeah.

CHECK-IN LADY: Is it some special kind of guitar?

GLENN: No, just a guitar.

CHECK-IN LADY: Wait one moment.

The Check-In Lady picks up her phone and dials a number. She waits for a few seconds.

There follows a ten-minute argument in Norwegian. Glenn stands to one side, holding his guitar.

Finally, she hangs up the phone.

CHECK-IN LADY: You can take it on.

GLENN: I don't have to check it in?

CHECK-IN LADY: No, it's all bull****.

GLENN: OK.

CHECK-IN-LADY: Enjoy your trip.

GLENN: Thank you.

Glenn walks off again.

INT. AIRPORT. SECURITY CHECKPOINT. EVENING.

GLENN arrives back at the X-ray machine, carrying his guitar case. The SECURITY WOMAN looks at him.

GLENN: This is all confusing. Coming to Norway they said check it in, now they say carry it...

He puts his backpack up onto the rollers, and it goes through the X-ray. His keys, wallet, and iPod go into a plastic tray, and it follows the backpack. Next through is the guitar. Then lastly the souvenir bags.

Glenn walks through the X-ray door. It doesn't beep.

The backpack is through fine. As is the guitar.

The SECURITY MAN seated at the X-ray screen peers closely. Something is suspicious.

SECURITY MAN: (In Norwegian) Put this one through again.

The souvenir bags are run through the X-ray once more, this time on their sides.

SECURITY MAN: Ah, o********.

He runs back through the scan on the computer screen, showing the Security Woman the first run-through. The o******** in question had looked like a knife, when seen from the side in an x-ray.

Glenn collects all his bags, and heads off towards the shop.

INT. AIRPORT. DEPARTURE LOUNGE CAFE. EVENING.

GLENN approaches the counter, where a STAFF MEMBER is waiting.

STAFF MEMBER: Can I help you?

GLENN: I have these two tax receipts.

Glenn hands over his two Tax-Free Shopping receipts. The Staff Member scans their barcodes into the computer.

STAFF MEMBER: Um, there is a problem with this one.

GLENN: Really?

STAFF MEMBER: To get the tax back, you need to spend three hundred and fifteen kroner or more.

He holds up the receipt from the Tourist Information Centre in Tromso.

STAFF MEMBER: This is only three hundred and six kroner. I can't give you any tax back.

GLENN: In Oslo, they told me it was three hundred and fifteen kroner, but at that store in Tromso, they said three hundred kroner was the minimum.

STAFF MEMBER: I will call and check.

The Staff Member makes a quick phonecall to someone who knows about such things as refunding V.A.T. to foreigners leaving the country. He returns.

STAFF MEMBER: I'm sorry, I can't give you any tax back. The minimum refund is forty kroner, and for that you have to spend three hundred and fifteen.

GLENN: What can I do?

STAFF MEMBER: Nothing. That's life.

If this is an attempt at humour, it doesn't work.

GLENN: Life sucks.

Glenn takes his money and walks away. He keeps the receipt from the Tromso store, meaning to email them at some point and let them know the real minimum amount for claiming V.A.T. back on departure...

INT. AIRPORT. DEPARTURE LOUNGE NEWSAGENT. EVENING.

Using some of the money from his tax-back, GLENN buys a soft drink at the nearby newsagent.

INT. AIRPORT. DEPARTURE LOUNGE. EVENING.

GLENN sits on a chair, and breaks the tape seals on his souvenir bags. The seals had been for tax-back purposes. Now that he has his money, he can open them and repack them all. They all fit nicely in one bag, which makes his carry-on baggage appear much less.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

INT. AIRPORT. PASSPORT CONTROL. NIGHT.

TITLE: "9:30 P.M."

GLENN stands in the European passport line, and approaches the POLICEMAN behind the glass window.

GLENN: Can I have a stamp, please?

The Policeman nods and flips through the passport.

GLENN: I forgot to ask to have it stamped when I arrived.

POLICEMAN: So you left Norway, but never arrived.

The Policeman laughs.

INT. AIRPORT. DEPARTURE GATE. NIGHT.

GLENN sits along with several other PASSENGERS waiting for the RyanAir flight from London to land. Once it's landed and the passengers off, they can start to board.

Here ends the exciting tale of Glennjamin's frustrations and confusions upon trying to leave Norway. Soon to come - more mayhem upon arriving in England!